Depression Is a Silent Killer—Let’s Talk About It

Posted: June 17, 2025

by Norman Lloyd, MA, LPC, Retired Army Veteran

What Are You Passionate About?

Every week, my wife and I sit at our dining room table for our couples check-in. We talk about our wins, our challenges, and how we’re really doing. Sometimes we laugh. Sometimes we cry. We almost always end with a warm cup of tea and a deeper understanding of each other.

But this particular meeting caught me off guard.

She asked me, “What are you passionate about?”

I gave the typical, easy answer: “You, babe.”

She smiled, but she wasn’t having it. She leaned in with her soul-penetrating curiosity and asked again, “No really—what keeps you up at night? What topic would you stand on a soapbox for?”

I got quiet. I didn’t have an answer in that moment. But over the next few days, as I reflected more deeply, the answer came—clear as day.

PTSD and depression.
Not just because I’ve studied it. But because I’ve lived it.

Depression: More Than Just Feeling Sad

As part of my ongoing series for PTSD Awareness Month, I want to talk openly about depression—the silent partner of trauma.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH):

8.3% of adults experienced a major depressive episode in the past year.
5.0% of adults live with persistent feelings of depression.
18.4% of adults have been diagnosed with depression at some point.

Those are the numbers. Now let’s talk about the reality.

What Does Depression Feel Like?

Depression is more than feeling down—it’s a weight, a fog, a thief that steals joy and presence from your life. People have described it as:

A heavy emotional blanket they can’t remove.
Hopelessness that follows them from morning until night.
A haunting thought that maybe the world would be better off without them.

You can be sitting next to someone with depression and never know it. Many people battling depression wear a smile, go to work, attend events—and are silently drowning.

The Family Member’s Perspective

One of the most heartbreaking things I’ve heard from families is:

“I had no idea.”
“They seemed fine.”
“How did I miss the signs?”

The truth is, depression hides. It’s like a ghost—lurking in the background, invisible to those not paying close attention. It can live undetected in a spouse, a child, a best friend. And when it strikes, it leaves people stunned and searching for answers.

Clinical Symptoms of Depression (for the folks who need the textbook version)

Here’s how depression can present itself:

Persistent sadness or emptiness
Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed
Low energy or fatigue
Changes in appetite or weight
Sleep disturbances (too much or too little)
Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
Irritability or frustration
Feelings of guilt or worthlessness
Thoughts of death or suicide

This isn’t just a bad day or a rough week. Depression can settle in and stay for weeks, months, or even years without proper support.

Let’s Keep It Real

Depression is a deadly, devastating illness—and it’s not something people can just “snap out of.”

Here’s what help is not:

Telling someone to “just get over it”
Minimizing it with “everyone gets sad sometimes”
Ignoring the signs and hoping they go away
Dismissing someone’s pain or calling them dramatic

If you or someone you care about is struggling with depression, please reach out. Talk to a therapist. Call a hotline. Say something to a trusted friend or family member.

If You’re Struggling With Depression, Remember:

You are not alone.
You are not broken.
You are not beyond help.
Depression wants you to believe those lies—but I’m here to tell you, healing is possible.

There are people out here who care. Trained professionals who have walked this road, or walked alongside others, and are ready to walk with you too.

Final Words

This is what I’m passionate about—bringing depression and PTSD into the light. These conditions rob people of their joy, their purpose, their ability to truly live. But they don’t have to win.

If you’re a friend, partner, sibling, or parent—check in. Start the conversation. Be someone’s safe space.

Together, we can make life just a little more bearable, one open conversation at a time.

Norman Lloyd, MA, LPC

Retired Army Veteran